"Do They Call You Mom?"

As we wrapped up #nationalfostercaremonth yesterday, I've been thinking of some things/questions Chris and I hear a lot and my thoughts and responses to those things (in no particular order):

"Congratulations!" I totally get it, people get excited that there's a new kiddo in our home. We get excited too that we get to help and be a safe home! But the reason they are with us is sadly not worth celebrating. It's really a tragedy. No child should ever have to be removed from their family, it's truly heartbreaking.

"Isn't it hard to let them go?" Yes! It's hard. But my hope is that we are mature enough (most of the time) to make sacrifices for the kids in our care. The goal isn't to avoid pain in life, but to love. We've had two day placements and two year placements. it's definitely hard, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. Like I've mentioned in past posts, I have no regrets about saying yes, even to the long placements. I will never regret knowing them, even though it was painful.

"Do they call you mom?" Sometimes yes. If they are old enough, we ask them what they would like to call us.  But many times kids in care call any woman figure mom and male figure dad. We've had a kiddo that did this with complete strangers. This isn't "cute", it actually is so very sad. :( Mom and dad are special terms, and it's sad when children don't have a stable caregiver to attach those terms to. I also try to be respectful of the bio parents in this area. Can you imagine what it's like for your child to call another woman mom? I know this is really a sad thing for bio parents, and something I try to not take lightly.

"Have you adopted them yet? Do you get to keep them? I'll adopt them!" Well thanks for the offer! ;) First of all, the goal with kids in care is always reunification with the birth parents. Next, relatives are considered, then the current foster family, then kin etc. If you are truly wanting to adopt a foster child, get licensed! And then know that adoption is never a guarantee and on the contrary is actually pretty rare with infants and toddlers. If you have a heart for older kids there is a HUGE need. NWAE.org

We have definitely been on an amazing journey as foster parents for the last 3 years. It's been an emotional roller coaster at times, but I am so grateful for what these kids have taught me. I truly believe it has changed my family for the better. Thank you all for your amazing support. Thank you for being a listening ear. For bringing meals. For bring clothes and diapers. We truly couldn't do it on our own.